H2O, cake, and last days

(Play this music when reading the post for more epic-caucity)

This week has been the week of FEELS.

On Sunday night I had my last shift at work which consisted of not a lot of action in the restaurant, but A LOT of action behind the scenes.

I was made aware that stuff was going to happen by the planning of one of the waitresses whom I love dearly, however as the night unfolded, only one of the three things that happened to me were planned.

Mid way through my shift, all the servers came out from the restaurant with cake on two platters. Delighted by this chocolate dessert, I grabbed one of the pieces and as I took a bite, the mischievous waitress shoved that piece of cake into my face.

It was hilarious washing cake from my nostrils and eyebrows, but not before getting a few photos of the "cake in the face" aftermath.

The second part, one of my fellow kitchen co-workers got in on. Since I was doing the shift of Dishwasher one of my duties was to take out the trash -  so I suspected nothing when she asked if I could take out this one particular garbage bin (as I tested its weight, it was pretty heavy), naturally it made sense to do as she asked and thought nothing of it.

As I walked out to the garbage disposal bin with my cowoker - out of the corner of my eye I see that mischievous waitress with a bucket, wearing a garbage bag whilst yelling as they rushed towards me from behind a dumpster bin. I darted away but not fast enough as the water launched from the bucket and doused my whole back. Wonderfully enough it was warm water and not only was my co-worker filming the whole thing, but another waitress was filming from behind a fence.

There was much laughter to be had, but there was still one more event to be had.

As I stood in dish-pit (now having changed for the second time and wearing my third apron) the waitress cornered me and dumped a pitcher of COLD water on my head now getting my upper torso wet.

As the cameras came forth on of my co-workers told me to smile and I frowned like an upset and sad puppy.

That was all to be had for the pranking - and I as well as everyone else, had a good time with it. Like I said before it was not ALL planned and the waitress who instigated it said she never would have put as much thought into it if I was not liked by her.

So I finished my time at the Spa well with cake, water, and much laughter, and goodbye hugs from the servers and my kitchen co-workers

AND THEN THE LAST NIGHT AT YOUTH GROUP

Much of the same themes happened cakes, water, and laughter.

We started the night trying to guess the gender of the baby of one of our youth group leaders, and she had brought us cake pops and cup cakes with blue and pink frosting left over from their gender reveal party last sunday.

After that we had a prayer time for the transition of the grade eights into Sr. High youth group for the fall... and for myself as it was my last night at youth group there.

As I stood in the centre of the room, the kids all gathered to hug and pray for me. The youth pastor told me that some of the kids who would not reach strained their arms to reach me as I was prayed over.

Later some of the girls gave me homemade cards and nicknacks as goodbye gifts. I was so touched by their thoughtfulness it was hard to keep composed.

We ended the night with a water related activities and I was given the task to take photos on the Youth Pastors phone and thusly managed to stay "mostly" dry.
Everyone was yelling, laughing, and throwing the water soaked sponges at each other - overall it was a wonderful and delightful way to finishes the youth group night.

All throughout the night, I kept getting hugs specifically from the grade eight girls whom I had lead dinner and Bible studies with and spent the most time with in Jr. Youth since they were in grade six.

Truly, it has been a blessing from God to work, lead, and grow with each and everyone I have met with in Moose Jaw in and outside the church setting.

I look forward to tomorrow as some of us head out to Cypress Hills for the youth retreat - I pray it all goes well and we will make more wonderful memories and grow more in love God and each other in this new setting.

~To God be the glory

"This is where the chapter ends..."

* Insert Tyrone Wells song, "Time of our lives," here *

WELP.

I broke the news to the kids last night that I will be flying and staying home at the end of June, as well as gave my final talk to them.

The group's response was not dramatic or anything, but a few of the ones who knew of me the longest came up to me at the end of the night and said that they were sad and going to miss me.

It's probably going to be more noted once I am ACTUALLY not present there for an extended period of time. However, I still have more goodbyes to make not only in the church, but ALSO at my job.

I had to say "goodbye" to two people today... and I STILL have 3 days (nights rather) to work there.

It will be good to finish at the Spa, and be able to focus on the Cypress Hills retreat with our church student ministries group... and be in this transition of moving back out to the Island.

So there are still some more posts to come, but not much.
Thanks for being part of this journey with me.

Till the next time!

~To God be the glory

Jonah's a dingus

"Hiding in shadows, can you fight your demons,
Can you face yourself?" - 'Drowning' by Natewantstobattle

It was during our youth/student ministry leaders meeting that I came up with this semi-affectionate term for Jonah.

The book of Jonah is only four chapters long, but it's packed fully of evidence that Jonah is a frustrating person.

TWO sentences into Jonah's account (going from NIV 2011 translation), we find Jonah fleeing from the LORD after God calls him to preach against Nineveh. This sets off a warning bell for the reader - most other accounts of prophets, you know, people who are MEANT to deliver messages to people on God's behalf would be willing to comply OR AT LEAST dialogue with the LORD a little before jumping into action.

Jonah just straight up flees in the opposite direction from God and His direction.

What gets really intense is that once Jonah is on a ship with a bunch of gentile sailors, they are the ones who respond faster to the LORD's direction than Jonah does... the self proclaimed Hebrew who worships the LORD (Jonah 1:9), has to spend three days and nights in the belly of a fish.

In chapter two, and if you're a first time reader of Jonah, you might get the impression that Jonah is truly seeing the error of his ways and is making a come back. As the rest of the account unfolds, this impression is anything but that.

Chapter 3 we have the author make note that city of Nineveh is a three day walk from one end to the other - Jonah only makes it in one day's worth and the people respond to the warning from the LORD. Again, we are seeing people who are not followers of the LORD responding faster to God's message and direction faster than Jonah. If that's where the account ended, it would be satisfying and Jonah's character tolerable... but no, there's one more chapter.

Chapter four is where Jonah reveals his true colours and reasoning as to why he fled from the LORD at the beginning of the account. Just read this dialogue Jonah gives to God through prayer:

"Isn't this what I said, LORD, when I was still at home? This is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live" (Jonah 4:2-3). 

At this point I am practically 1000% done with Jonah.

He knew that God is gracious, compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and relents from sending calamity - and THAT'S WHY HE FLED FROM GOD AND HIS INSTRUCTION TO GO TO NINEVEH!?! 

This prophet of God is FREAKING SELFISH - and you can even see it in his prayer to God back in chapter 2 (looking at verses 8-9).
He states that "Salvation comes from the LORD" - but only in the case of God saving him from his distress.
It's like Jonah could not see that Nineveh was just as much in need of God's salvation as he did in the belly of the fish.

And just to hit that idea even further home, Jonah goes from being "angry" that God spared the people of Nineveh from His wrath after they repented, to "so angry" in 4:5-9 after a plant that was shading him from the sun and hot winds (that God provided) was then was destroyed by a worm (that God also provided).

I'm so livid with this guy! He's rebellious, selfish, impatient, unforgiving, childish and... and...

sigh.

Very, VERY relatable. 

If you look into the history of Nineveh, you'll find that it's known to be an ancient city of Assyria. For you Biblical scholars and readers, that should sound familiar to you. The Assyrians were in CONSTANT battle with Israel thus many people have died in their battles over the years... and Jonah was called by God deliver a message of repentance to these people.

If I was asked by God to give a message of deliverance to a group of people whom my extended family had been in fights that ended in death and bloodshed... I'd be very hesitant as well.

What is most surprising, and most important, out of Jonah's account is the revealing of God's character. 

Instead of God letting Jonah run away to Tarshish and choosing a different (and possibly more obedient) prophet to deliver His message to Nineveh, He pursues Jonah. Not only that, but he also does an object lesson with the plant and worm for Jonah to show how much he cares and has compassion for rebellious people and even the animals.

Jonah even proclaims the goodness of God's character in his final prayer in chapter four - and it's made evident not only towards the sailors, the people of Nineveh, the animals, but to Jonah as well. As much as I STRONGLY DISLIKE Jonah, I am so thankful for this account for it shows the incredible patience, mercy, love, and grace of the one true God, Yahweh, our Heavenly Father.

If God is willing to show compassion, patience, and even discipline (lets not forget the storm, fish, and scorching sun and winds) to a dingus like Jonah, how much more is he willing to do so for us as followers of Jesus.

~To God be the glory

P.s. On a side note, this wednesday I will be telling the youth/student ministry group that I'm leaving for the Island at the end of June, as well as giving a final talk out of the Sermon on the Mount series we've been doing. Pray it goes according to God's will. Thank you.

This is how a heart breaks

"And I'm steady but I'm starting to shake,
and I don't know how much more I can take..."

Heyo my dear Readers!

Umm... you know in that blog post called "Hopes and Dreams" where I stated "no, I will not be staying there forever - at least at this point I do not think so," when it came to going back to the Island?

Some things have changed.

After talking with the Youth Pastor, a job not lining up for the fall, the healthiness of Hillcrest Church and the youth/student ministries... God is directing me back to the Island indefinitely at the end of June.

I had to share this info over the past few weeks gradually, starting with my co-workers, the Youth Pastor, and as of Wednesday evening, my Jr. Leaders.

It was harder to admit to them than I anticipated...

but I think it will be REALLY hard to admit it to the kids when the time comes...

So, if you're reading this and you're from Hillcrest - I have not announced this to the group yet that when I leave for home and the Island, it's indefinite - so keep it on the DL as much as possible, thanks.

There is/was a series of very detailed events that lead up to this decision to head back to the Island after 5 years of being out on the Prairies... but I think it all can be summed up to say that it's all been by God's direction and working in my heart and mind that I can be at peace and excited with this decision... even if it's going to be sad when I have to say goodbye to everyone over the course of the next month.

I have been thinking about what to do since I dedicated this blog to Hillcrest and I'm leaving soon... but I figured it would be time to start a different blog when I return to the Island, more of that soon to come.

~To God be the glory

[Guest speaker] come back...!

"any kind of fool can see..."

Hello Dear Readers!

So this past Wednesday, we had our guest speaker from Briercrest come and talk on the "Lord's Prayer" in the Gospel of Matthew - and it was SO GOOD.

Let me relay how the evening went:

I decided to walk to the church a little earlier than normal in order to prepare for the evening, and as I walked through the parking lot, I arrived at the same time as the guest speaker.

We greeted one another and then meet up with the Youth Pastor. As we lead our guest to the youth room, we found out from him that he had not spoken in front of a group of teen in a long time. Non of us were really concerned, and I did not think nor feel that our guest would be nervous in front of our group; simply because I knew how he handled himself in with college students (which are basically bigger versions of young teenagers) and had been involved with youth ministry before.

As the night wore on, our leaders and youth arrived and we did our basic welcomes and mixers, and our Pastor introduced our speaker (we had said the week before to our group he'd be coming, so it was not a huge surprise to those who were there the week before). I sat myself on the bleachers with our group facing the speaker, he opened up saying, "I know we have roughly 15min to go through this passage, let me try to identify the most important things in this prayer."

In my head I was like, "NOOOOOOOOO - Take all the time in the WORLD!" But he STILL managed to mesmerize, engage, and thrill not only us leaders but also our young adults within the short amount of time he worked with.

I wish I could say everything he talk about with the few verses he walked us through - but that would take up most of this blog post when all I really wanted to say about the evening was - we fell in love with our guest speaker.

Some of our teens had said to our Pastor that they wish/want him to come back! He did amazingly with asking questions and our group responding to him. His passion and simple explanation of the Scriptures was thrilling and wonderful to witness and be apart of, and that's probably why all of us HIGHLY enjoyed his company.

Our Pastor loved him so much that during our debrief at the end of the night, he desired to concoct a plan to get him to attend Hillcrest and be part of our congregation.
My response was, "Just remember kidnapping is illegal." To which another leader replied, "But... he's not a kid..."

* we found our loop hole *

All Joking aside, it would be awesome if that guest speaker could come back again - no, we will not use kidnapping to make that happen.

That's all for now!

~To God be the Glory 

Chu-chu-chu-chu-CHANGES (turn and face the [weeks])

A sassy response to the title... yes I'm contradicting myself - I do that sometimes

Heyo!

Some updates and expectations:

1. I've officially sent my resignation at the Spa for mid June.

It's been a good, insightful, helpful, learning, and growing experience - but the time has come to quit and move on to other things.

Some of my co-workers have taken it better than others (one co-worker was adamant of saying "No" when I gave him the news and continued to repeat said word about 100x - we eventually had a good laugh then he wished me well).

2. I STILL have weeks of work left and my schedule for the next little bit looks like this:

Mon-Tues : 3:30pm-11:30pm, Wednesday : youth group 6:20pm-9:30(10)pm, Thurs-Fri : 7am-3pm

This means I have the weirdest sleep schedule and lots of people time which will often result in my introvert levels being VERY depleted.

It's friday and I'm dead

Sooooo, if you happen to keep me in your prayers for the next few weeks, that'd be AWESOME.

3. This week for the 'Sermon on the Mount' series Jr. student ministries is going through, one of the Professors from Briercrest will be speaking on the 'Lord's Prayer'!!!

We're so excited! 

I'm pretty sure most of the leaders are more excited than the youth... but that's really because some are former students of the Prof. and have high respect and/or knowledge of him.

Anyway, that's all for now!

~To God be the Glory

FINAL COUNTDOWN

We only have 6 more youth group meetings left!

Copyright: Toby Fox

Where. Has. The. Time. Gone.
My goodness. 

Welp, in the mean time, Jr. youth will be going through a new series and it is...

*insert drumroll here*

THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT

I am both 

Friends, I am SO PUMPED with excitement to start this series.

Tonight, I will be giving a talk by going over the Gospel of Matthew as a whole, and then focusing on Matthew 5: 1, 19 - that is it.

Most of my talk notes are based off my very last college class I had at Briercrest called, "Sermon on the Mount," and the class changed my life.
When the youth pastor and I were planning out the youth group program back in August, this class and what I had learned from it was still fresh in my mind and I was DETERMINED to have it as a series to talk about for youth group.

If you've been following along in my other blog posts, you will have noticed my referring to youth not knowing what the commands of Jesus are and why we ought to be following them and not saying we follow the Laws of the OT.  This Sermon is one of the more clarifying sections in Scripture as to WHAT the commands of Jesus are and WHY it's only by him we are able to do the commands and are made righteous.

I cannot wait and see how our group will respond to this section of teaching, and the amazing things God will reveal about himself through them.

Thanks for following me along on this journey. It's been quite the ride.

Till the next time!

~To God be the Glory

Hopes and dreams

Hey everyone!

My apologies for lack of writing - things have been going smoothly more or less in youth ministry.

There have been a few events (not of the youth program variety) that have happened in the last little while that I did not think a simple blogg could deal with:

Like grief within the church,
or weekly happenings within the youth group,
or my personal thoughts and feelings in my own life.

However, since it is April, that means some changes are occurring:

1. AMAZING WEATHER FOR ONE - today is my day off and I am for sure NOT staying inside once it gets to 20 degrees celsius outside.
2. Briercrest students finishing up their semester - and therefore some of the ones volunteering will be leaving us.
3. Finding at least one new youth leader volunteer, who is an older male, that will be joining us for Jr. youth.

Our youth group meets till near the end of June, so that means we only have two and a half months left with our team/family.

THIS ALSO MEANS THIS ISLANDER GIRL IS THAT MUCH CLOSER TO GETTING HERSELF BACK ON THE ISLAND.

I'm sure some of you may be thinking, "What about your job?" "Are you going on vacation?" "ARE YOU STAYING THERE FOREVER?!"

After the past few months, there has been a stirring within me that my current job is needing to come to a close. It has been awesome, and I will always and forever love the people there... but something is changing/ needs to change this year, and I do not fully know all the details, but I am trusting in God as He leads me through this time of changes.
I am going back to the Island by July as a sort of vacation. I have found myself longing more and more to be surrounded by nature, and see my family... It's been almost four years since I've spent any sort of time on the Island for more than just a week or two... So I am Island bound by July, and it makes sense to do it then since there is no Youth Group for two months.

"I just wanna go home..."

So, no, I will not be staying there forever - at least at this point I do not think so.

Anyway, next week youth group is back on for Jr. and Sr. (we had a week off since it's spring break for the youth) - and it'll be good to get back into the swing of things, with new mindsets, hopes and dreams in this spring season.

Continual prayer for the leaders now, and the ones yet to come.
Prayer for youth ministry as we enter this spring season.
Prayer for the Youth Pastor as he leads us and remains humble and submissive to the direction of God and the Holy Spirit's promptings.

~To God be the glory

Unexpected (but in a good way)

I think the best word to describe how this past week has been is: Unexpected.

Two major things that make me think this:

1. Ever since telling people about that "Pharisee goes Prodigal" incident, and sharing it on this blogg... I've had nothing but encouraging feedback from those who have spoken/written to me since confessing.

Honestly, I did not know what to expect when sharing that story... I certainly hoped for graciousness and understanding, but it was not what I was expecting the whole time - if anything, I was preparing myself for someone to chew me out (and rightly so) question my motives... but so far, that's not happened and now I'm not anticipating it anymore.

Before I say what the second thing is - thank you, to all of you who have contacted me and expressed encouragement and shown me grace. Truly, I value it. 

2. I gave a talk in youth group Wednesday evening about Jesus and his disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane (on the Mount of Olives); and there were some verses I did not know how to interpret so I had to wait till the day before to use commentaries from a library in a nearby town.

AS A FORMER STUDENT THIS WAS MENTALLY UPSETTING FOR ME.
I absolutely loath not working on something at least three days in advance so I've had time to ponder and consider all the concepts raised in my studying and know which I can work with and talk about.

Since I did not get that opportunity this talk session, I felt rather unprepared giving the talk... and felt like it was really simple, almost superficial.

HOWEVER, it was not till pod group time/ youth leader's debrief that I discovered good conversation came out of the talk regardless.

It was in one of the pod groups I lead after I gave the talk that some sweet conversation happened flowing from the talk - like "what if Adam and Eve didn't sin, would Jesus be with us?" "Why didn't God kill/stop the snake from tempting Eve" "Why would Jesus need to be afraid to die?" - and those questions came just from the group I was with.

I found out from another youth leader that one of their kids did not realize that Jesus felt things like "sorrow" and stress, and another group ended up having to explain how the Trinity works.

All that being said, it was amazing to see and hear about the results that flowed from a talk I felt unprepared for. One of the youth leader's said to me, "The Gospel is so powerful and important, not to say the rest of the Bible isn't, but there is something to the Gospel's that is really impactful."

JUST SO YOU KNOW - I am NOT saying that being lazy, or "winging" a talk and thinking "God can use whatever I say," is acceptable all the time. But this talk was a good reminder that no matter the studying I can pour into a talk, or the theological concepts we can dig up and discuss, or the eloquent words and speech I wove together, can truly make any difference if God is not part of it.

What is amazing about youth ministry and youth group is being able to see the growth of faith and love in God happen in the teens, and to see their excitement or their "mind blown" over things they've never comprehended or heard of before.
Seeing teens excited to know God more and desire to deepen their relationship with Him is the MOST amazing privilege I have.

I cannot wait and see how this group continues to grow and change under the care of each other and influence of God's love.

~To God be the glory

Wishing and hoping (right relations wrap up)

Well, we finished our “Right Relationships” talk in Jr youth group. If you read my last blog post "Jr. Youth progression" and happened to be one of the people that prayed for the series, my thanks goes to you.

For the final talk this past Wednesday, the youth pastor and I tag teamed the talk. 

He opened with a recap of his talk with the guys during the first week - noting how popularity often plays a part in having friendships, and then I summed up my time with the girls - noting how trust and gossip play a big role in our friendships and read from Ruth using Naomi and Ruth as an example of good friendship. Then he talked about how the world tends to view how guys and girls relate to each other, and then I ended with the “Five Love languages,” and gifts of the Spirit found in Romans 12, as practical ways to show and receive love from one another. I also explained how guys function by showing respect in relationships and physical interaction for friendship bonding; whereas girls function by showing affection in relationships and talking/sharing for friendship bonding. 

It was a good three weeks, and I wish we could have spent more time on practical application but hopefully that can develop as the rest of the year unfolds. 

Now we will be going into “Pre-Easter” and “Gospel” talks, considering Easter is only a month a way. 

Stay tuned and thanks for your continued interest and prayers!

~To God be the Glory

Jr. Youth progression

Hey Everyone!

Sorry for the lack of posting, there hasn't been much that stood out to post on, nor any personal thoughts I deemed worthy of sharing.

HOWEVER, I figured with what's going on now in Jr. youth, it was about time to notify what's happening.

Since mid January, our group has finished 2 Timothy and we've started a mini series of "Right Relationships" - that is, "Right Friendships."

Something the youth pastor and I have noticed in youth group is the polar differences in interaction and conversation between girls and guys in how they treat and view each other. I've noticed for the girls that they will either treat/talk to guys like they're dirt, OR they crush on them/objectify them. The youth pastor noted some similar dealings with the guys so we concluded that we should specifically teach on how to treat one another.

Yeah... this is NOT how to do it.

This past Wednesday, we split the guys and girls up and the youth pastor gave the guys a talk on how guys often do and should treat each other, and I gave a talk to the girls on how girls often do and should treat each other.

I spoken on how girls will relate to one another based on mutual similarities/interests and most importantly trust, and when there is no trust it is easy to gossip. I then ran a little skit with two of the other female leaders on what gossip can look like, and then we looked at some verses that deal with gossip (lots found in proverbs). At the end we heard stories from other female leaders that related to Proverbs 27:6 ("Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses").
From what I understand, the youth pastor focused on status, respect, and popularity for the guys.
The girls listened and participated well with the talk, were as the guys for some reason that night were not very cooperative and the leaders had a hard time getting them to focus.

This upcoming Wednesday, we will be talking about how guys should treat girls, and how girls should treat guys. This means that I will be talking to the guys and the youth pastor will be talking to the girls.
Prayer for this mini series would be highly appreciated.
It's funny, because on Vancouver Island, I found that there was not much of a struggle for girls and guys to interact with one another, but for some reason, here on the Prairies, it's a little hard and borderline awful. Maybe it's the Mennonite history/ mentality here...  but I'm really not sure.

One step at a time

By the third week of this mini series, we'll wrap up by highlighting some main points from the previous talks and drawing upon 1 John (which will be a nice reminder from September).

In the end, the hope and idea is that there will be less awkward and rude dealings with opposite genders in the future with our youth group and more  healthy and natural interactions.

Something like this. 

~To God be the Glory

Begin again

Hey team!
Youth group starts up again this week!

Jr. youth begins tonight, and Sr. youth on Friday!

It's been a good break, but I am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things with youth group and our leaders.

SPEAKING OF WHICH.

We have lost some leaders and have gained a few this new year.

Please continue to pray for the future youth leaders, who are not in youth ministry yet, will come either on their own by the prompting of the Holy Spirit; or that the youth pastor, our current youth leaders, or myself, will have someone brought to our minds that we can seek out.

When it comes to youth leaders, age does not matter, in fact I would prefer to see more adults and grandparents being youth leaders in youth group. We need the older generation disciplining our youth, and if they're not doing it already they should be with youth group being a great facilitator. 

Oh... another thing... I have withdrawn from my involvement with Sr. youth, so I will not be sharing as much stories about what's going on their, but my hope is that I can assist our Youth Pastor by checking in and regularly seeing how our leaders are doing (sort of what I've been doing with Jr. youth leaders, just not attending the meetings).

Believe me, I'm not thrilled with the decision myself, but for now I think it may be for the best; until I can get a handle on my life and what responsibilities I can take on without burning out.

Till the next youth group update!

~To God be the glory

Tis the season

It's official. The Youth Group gatherings have come to and end last week till mid January.

For Jr. Youth, we had a Christmas party where our youth pastor gave a little talk - simply noting a few things from Matthew 2 - then we had the youth split off into their small groups to pray for and encourage one another. In their groups we had them decorate their youth leaders as christmas trees (some took creative liberty with that) and were judged accordingly for their outfits:

DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING PICTURES HAVE PEOPLE'S FACES COVERED BY SMILEY EMOJIS FOR IDENTITY PROTECTION. NO, THEY DO NOT ACTUALLY HAVE SMILEY EMOJI FACES. SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION - THIS IS A TYPE OF PHOTOSHOP. ALTHOUGH THIS MAY BE DISTRACTING THIS ALSO MAKES THE PHOTOS THAT MUCH MORE FUNNY.

  

After the judging, the youth pastor and I handed out hot chocolate as the youth in their small groups came up with christmas carols that they would sing a line from and if anyone else had it, it was to be crossed off. 

It was awesome to see the youth get into the party and we even ran out of time and didn't get to finish the "christmas carol" game. 

It's been a delight and honour working with these youth leaders and getting to know them personally has been a blessing. I pray that the Christmas break will be good to them and they will come back refreshed and renewed in the New Year. 

As for Sr. Youth, it was relatively the same program wise, except we had a "Christmas-ween" theme where we could dress up for the evening. Since it was "Christmas" and "Halloween" themed, my interpretation was that we had to go as something that involved both of those aspects, as it turns out, that was not necessarily the case, but I went as the "Ghost of Christmas past" 

 We had a Christmas punch station, were our church's intern served up drinks with fancy names. We also had some cookies and cakes all provided by our youth pastor and the night was a relatively chill one. The youth were not as into the program stuff, the dress up and carol games, like the jr. youth were, but the night still boded well.

I am also very thankful for all the youth leaders and youth who are dedicated to the youth group. I pray that over the break there would be a renewed sense of involvement and delight for the program, if not then for the youth pastor and I to have a better understanding and way of improving the program, or seeking what God want for our Sr. youth in the New Year.

In the next little while, there will be no youth group, but there will be plenty of opportunities for me to reflect, rest, and study about personal, spiritual, and thoughtful matters. Stay tuned still.

For now, Merry Christmas!

~To God be the Glory

This will be short

Yeeeaaaahhhhh, so remember that time (blog post) where I said I would tell how that Youth Ministry coffee session would go... Well... The youth pastor and I were ready... and set up... but... uh, no one came.

Funny enough, I wasn't upset or angry. There were many variables that could have added to why no one came/were able to come. So, in that time, the youth pastor and I planned for the week and ways in which to approach the people we wanted to ask specifically about joining the youth min team.

The youth pastor messaged me today and said one of our candidates was willing to come aboard, and we've been wanting to ask this person since September, so it's great that at least one of the people we were seeking is wanting to join us.

So, dear reader, if you did happen to pray that the youth min coffee session would go well, it's okay that no one came. I truly believe that God has other ways in bringing the right people to ministry opportunities... which may be that the youth pastor and I need to personally meet with them and ask.

That being said, there are only two weeks of Youth Group left before the Christmas break - so if anything major happens in Youth group - I will talk about it. If not, I may talk about some of the personal things that have been/are going on in my life.

We shall see.

Till then -

~To God be the glory

Oh, to end on a pun:

Emotional Pain

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........... *inhales* *exhales* well.

So, youth group. I love it. I really, really, REALLY do. It's encouraging when the youth come and they're energized, excited to be with their friends. We get to talk about Jesus and the Bible, and what God is doing in our lives. Hearing from someone who is in grade 8 saying that their reading their Bible outside of youth group is an encouraging thing, as well as giving a youth a Bible and giving recommendation where to read after they ask for some is really delightful.

HOWEVER. However. It is the worst when you see a youth in pain, emotionally and physically, and you can do NOTHING to take it away.

Let me walk you through this particular time that happened one evening.

I was in the youth room, it was during the game, which we wrap up with at the end of the night, and it was a "tag" game. Well, two girls come in, one propping up another girl with her shoulder as the other girl leaned on her as she limped.
Great, I think to myself, an injury during the game, go figure. 
Me, the youth pastor, the injured girl's friend, helped the injured girl into a chair and surveyed the damage.
She had a swollen ankle and a puffy nose.
I was given an ice pack by the youth pastor, and I grabbed another chair to elevate the girl's slightly swollen ankle. As she told me what happened, along with some commentary from her friend, I stared at the girls face. Her tear streaked face was red and splotchy from her sobbing and her expression etched with pain.
I did my best to comfort her and keep her slightly distracted by asking questions, like about her family, where she went to school, and what church she goes to.
As she diligently answered my questions (and her friend as well who stuck with us to the end of the night), it dawned on me that this was her first time at youth group.

This is her first time here... and she's been injured while playing this game. 

"I'm so sorry this has happened."
"That's okay," she responded, "it's not your fault, I'm just clumsy."
"But it's not only your fault, it's dark..." (we had some of the lights turned off for the game), This could have been avoided... 

I hear her say, "this is the second time this week I've rolled it." her mouth quivered, "My mom said if I rolled it again it would be worse."

I asked to look at her ankle again. She let me, and I noticed that there was swelling but it was not that big.

"My nose feels swollen," she pointed to it gingerly, "does it look swollen?"

I gave her a cool cloth to place on her nose, apparently she had bumped into her friend and either during that time or after she rolled her ankle.

I sat there staring at her foot. There were some guys behind me playing with a ball, and the injured girl's friend was being very chatty, and all the while, the injured girl tried to keep herself from crying.

This could have been avoided had we not played the game! She's hurting because of us. The ruckus of the boys grew louder behind me as they played ball. Leave, everyone leave! She's hurting, can't you see she's in pain!? 

I had the urge to pray for her after first elevating her foot, but the noise, and the people around me was distracting and making me flustered. Why? She was upset. She was in pain. She was...

I looked at the clock, it was 8:50pm, the parents would be coming soon. I turned to the girl, "Can I pray for you?" Me, the injured girl's friend, and the injured girl all bowed are heads.

I prayed, "Father.... please.... in your mercy and love, please heal her. Do not let this night end like this... if she is afraid please let her know your love her and care for her (as I said those words I wondered why I was praying about fear, I'll get to that); please in your mercy and love heal her ankle. In the name of your son Jesus Christ, amen."

As I prayed... I started to cry. I was obviously crying when I prayed about her fear, and I could hear her and her friend crying as well. When I finished, the injured girl told me how she had rolled her ankle now three times this month and she had forgotten her tenser bandage.

We had a man from our congregation, who is a doctor, look at there ankle a little while later and say that the sprain was mild but should be iced and elevated.
As I walked her to the front of the church where the parents were gathering to get their kids. I found out that she does dance 6 times out of the week for an hour each of the days. When her mother came, the youth pastor and I told her what happened and she was very understanding.

Even though I cried a little during my time in prayer for the injured girl, it was not until I got home that I sobbed like this:

Why? Because I felt - not just noticed, not just mimicked or mirrored - FELT her emotional pain. I felt her frustration, her fear, and her overall being upset... I wasn't done processing my own feelings let alone hers just yet. So I sobbed like an agonized middle school girl from an anime series. 

How was she frustrated and afraid? Well:

Frustration - third time this month rolling an ankle? Forgetting a tenser bandage when it should have been on since the morning? Who wouldn't be upset?

Fear - Should have known better, should have been more careful... parents are going to be upset. 

I. COULD. DO. NOTHING. She was in physical pain, but her emotional pain was SCREAMING throughout my entire being and I could DO NOTHING.

Except... God could.

So I prayed. God, THANK YOU for having me pray. Looking back on it now, I know that was you prompting me to pray and how I was able to address her fear as I prayed. 

I felt like I could do nothing, that the youth group/game was a cause to her pain so I felt responsible for her feeling how she did... but I see now that her physical pain unleashed her fear that would not have been expressed otherwise. 

And on her first night there of all times. 

Well, God, you had that whole situation under control and I thank you that her injury was not more severe. I pray that glory was given to you in that time... and that the girl who was injured will be drawn closer to you in all this... 

May youth group continue to develop into a place where the youth will grow in their love for you, the Bible, and one another. Help us leaders to lead well and work as a team to bring you honour and glory. 

Also... continue to guide and have mercy and patience with me and my emotional and logical functions... and trusting you with them.

~To God be the glory

Personable - Incorporating testimony

After giving two talks to the Jr. youth, I was talking to the youth pastor about them and what he thought. One of the things he mentioned was hearing more of me in the talk... that is to say, to have some story or illustration of how or why this chapter, verses, topic, I'm talking about influenced or changed me.

Well... as an INFJ, the problem with this personality type is that it's really hard to talk about ourselves without getting... how should I put it... a little worked up; usually responding with some edge or nervousness.

So when the youth pastor said, "I would like to hear more 'Sarah' in the talks, that is if you can." I responded with something along the lines of a cringing deflating sigh.

"Guuuuuaaaahhhhhhh..." - what is sounded like
This gif portrays how I felt like responding physically 

HOWEVER. I knew this was a personal challenge I needed to overcome and face at some point, and since it's with Jr. Youth (some of the few people I feel most at ease around) I figured this would be the best chance as any to incorporate some testimony in the talk of 1 John 4.

It took less time than I anticipated in deciding what story I could use that would relate to the "God is love" and "Don't fear" themes I would talk about from 1 John 4. The testimony of when I first realized that God loved me, and the time when I found out God's wrath was directed onto Christ when he took my sin upon himself.
At first I was still a little worried about sharing this part of my life with the youth... 'cause I was certain I would get emotional and feel very vulnerable, and probably not truly say what I meant to say... but then I remembered the time at camp, and during school that testimony is not ABOUT ME; it's about what GOD HAS DONE in me. With that in mind I stood in front of 30 something youth on Wednesday (along with our 8 youth leaders), and after going through a few verses in 1 John 4, ended the talk with some testimony.

As I shared the time I had coffee with one of my best friends, and she told me how God's wrath was directed on Christ when he died for me, I felt something deep welling up within me. As I said, "When she told me this (God's anger directed at Jesus), I saw this image of lightening coming at me then moved towards Jesus who was standing beside me... and I panicked. That should have been me getting hurt, not Jesus, I deserve that!" That's when the tears came.

I couldn't stop them even if I wanted to. I ended the story saying, "Thank God for Jesus. His death and resurrection is what allows us to have a relationship with God, and how we are shown what love looks like."

After I prayed, one of the youth leaders rushed up to me with a hug and some encouraging words about the message and how my tears didn't distract from the talk (which was a concern of mine). Once the youth pastor sent the youth and leaders off into their pods and he told me how the youth's interest really picked up once I started sharing the testimony. Also, when we got had our leaders meeting at the end of the night, there was a lot of good conversation that took place in the pods, and some of the leaders also expressed their appreciation for the message.

Even though the tears were not like waterfalls, I sure was tired by the end of youth group... moments that are emotional can be so draining to my energy level.

So, on Friday when I gave yet another talk, this time to the Sr. youth, I was encouraged to know that with the right mindset of giving God the glory in personal stories, people will for the most part respond well, and more openly.

I didn't cry while giving the Sr. Youth talk (which was a relief) but I had no idea how the youth felt about the talk because right after it we did an activity called a "Car Rally" which took up the rest of the evening. When we all got back together at the church, and during the leaders debrief some of the leaders expressed their appreciation for the talk as well.

ALL THAT BEING SAID. One does not need to incorporate testimony all the time while giving talks. If you are passionate for the Scriptures, and can convey it well to youth (or anyone in general) then testimony is not always needed. Apparently I had a bit of a "fangirl" moment, according to the youth pastor, when I was saying how much I loved the chapter of 1 John 4.

Might have looked something like this...

If that can be channelled into talks all the time, the youth will pick up on it. ALSO, testimony is NOT about the person, it's about GOD WORKING in the life of the person.

By the way, if you, dear reader, want to have a look at the notes I talk from, or go through specific verses in Scripture that I mention in this blog, let me know via comments, or on FB (if you're friends with me - preferably through the fb messaging system), or email. 

Till the next time!

~To God be the glory

Keeping it understandable and genuine

Two thoughts coming out of this week during youth group - How to keep talks understandable (while keeping in line with the Truth), as well as genuine; and being genuine to youth (while not overdoing it).

I gave a talk to the Jr. Youth on Wednesday from 1 John 2. I have to say, doing the research and learning about certain things in 1 John 2 was enjoyable and a little thrilling. However, I am a much better conveyer of my findings through writing (like this) as opposed to saying it out loud.
Also, I'm used to studying Scripture with an academic standard, so that means being grammatically correct, theologically sound, and actually knowing what it is you're talking about.

So, I gave a talk from 1 John 2, looking at what light represents, and how we as Christians are to live in that light. As I was talking, I looked around the room occasionally and noted that some, if not most, of the youth seemed disengaged or bored.  Thinking back over the talk I realized that I would sometimes use words that they may not have understood, like 'righteousness' and 'epistle'....

Guys, I called 1 John an epistle to an audience mostly made up of kids in grade 6... as IF they would know what that means without having to explain it!

*Seriously, get it together Holmes*

HOWEVER, I heard later from the Youth Pastor that a lot of the youth were engaged with the talk, even though they didn't know what some of the words meant... which was encouraging to say the least. ALTHOUGH NOW, I have a mission and a task to make sure my talks ARE understandable whilst keeping in mind that genuine enthusiasm for these talks are needed. I think that the enthusiasm I had for the research did come through to the youth and that is why they liked the talk... even if I said "righteousness" and "epistle" and didn't explain it.

Other than the ONE CLASS I took at Briercrest called 'Preaching and Teaching to Youth,' you aren't trained for giving talks to younger audience. Since my mindset is still in 'academic student writing' mode, the words "righteousness" and "epistle" are to me words that need to be used, but not explained. 

ANYWAY

On Friday we had our first night as a Sr. Youth group at the church. At first our YP was not expecting many youth to show up, because other things were happening that evening, but as it turned out between 15-20 youth showed up. 

There was one thing that really stood out that night though, not the number of the youth, but one girl in particular. 

She came with her bother, and as soon as she walked into the room, I knew she felt uncomfortable. Her arms were slightly crossed while she twiddled her fingers, and she was often looking down or away from gazes, and she stayed near the door to the youth room. 

I went to her and introduced myself and did my best to make some lighthearted talk but she still seemed shy and nervous. I didn't know how to continue the conversation so I made my way back to the YP and began the evening with a welcome and mixer. 

We did the 'Music Mixer' (found in Ken Moser's book: Creative Christian Ideas for Youth Groups) and noted that the 'shy girl' would keep to the outside of the groups when they came together. Even in small groups, she was with me, and two other girls, and she still would not open up, and mostly kept looking away.

Posture of nervousness and concern.

BY THE WAY - this really is normal for some youth who are in a new environment and just getting aquatinted with the group. Being an introvert myself, I wasn't expecting this girl to open her heart up to us on the first night, but I could't help but feel responsible to make sure she knew that this place was welcoming and safe for her to be in. 

For the last part of youth group - we played a game where you had to rotate to another game every 10 min and pick up where your teammate left off. 

Except when we were getting started, the shy girl was no where to be seen. I found her in the bathroom standing casually by the mirror. I asked if she wanted to play the game and she said no. I said that it was fine and she and I could watch instead. 

As we sat on one of the couches in the youth room, I asked her if she wasn't a fan of board games and she said, "No, I don't like playing games in teams, because if I lose I could let them down."

My reaction:

Whoa. 

I told her that hopefully as the year goes on she would see that most of the youth don't really care about winning, and the ones I know are rather chill about it.

I asked her if she was an introvert, and she told me all about how she's really into psychology and she knows her MBTI personality.

My reaction:

Eeeeehhhhh!!

We got into talking more about personality psych, family, and even her ideas for career choices after high school. 

THIS IS HOW WE INTROVERTS DO! One on one meaningful talks in a comfortable environment. 

Once youth group wrapped up, she thanked me for talking with her. 

This is what I mean about genuine, taking an interest in the lives of each person. It just so happened that this girl and I had the same interest in psychology and so we were able to have a meaningful conversation that flowed naturally. Even if I'm talking to a youth where their interests and mine don't line up, I can still talk with them because their interests are actually interesting - its part of who they are and when they open up about them, parts of who they are (character and emotion) are brought out and it's exciting to experience that with them.

It's not about studying youth culture to 'know ahead of time' how to talk with youth and get accepted by them. 

It's about getting to know the person's interests, stories, personality, strengths, and weaknesses, and knowing that all this is wrapped up in one individual, who has been placed in this time period for a specific reason by God; which is AMAZING. 

That's my rant for the day. Hope it was insightful and encouraging for you dear reader. 

Till the next time!

~To God be the Glory