Following God will not make sense most of the time

How this week started...

How it's ending: brooding level 100. 

This is what happens when you are not communicative and living in fear of how one can affect others. 

I had a conversation with my Senior Pastor at Hillcrest a week-ish ago, and he asked me, "When do you come alive," that is to say, when in ministry does my passion unleash? I told him it's when I'm studying Scripture, and giving talks in youth group, as well as one on one conversations with them.

However, I'm purely a volunteer in youth group, but ministry is where I am function well as the person God made me to be... but I have to make money because life... and responsibility... and not being a burden... and food.

So, I think I almost came to a falling out with my work place because I had not clearly communicated with my boss what times I could work and what time I couldn't this fall, and he was stressing enough as it was so when I told him, "I also have youth group on Friday evenings" .... it almost didn't end well.

My boss and I had a meeting the next day, he was doing better, but I was not (feeling his frustration and knowing I was a cause to it really left its mark). I apologized once again (I did that a lot the day before when he was really upset), and told him straight up that "As a Christian, I am meant to be truthful and honest, and I haven't been because I have been afraid of how people will react to me and what I say or ask of them; but I will not do that anymore."

~Side note: It's ironic (or perfect timing) that in Jr. Youth we are going through 1 John where that famous verse is found, "there is no fear in love," (1 John 4:18), and I will be giving a talk on that chapter next week. ~

I came into that arranged meeting fully ready to drop my job if that meant not being able to commit to youth group.

I get that seems like a stupid move. "Sarah, if you do that, how will you support yourself finically? You need to be able to pay the bills."
Yeah, I get that, even as a young adult I know money is a thing to function in this world and it doesn't 'grow on trees.' However... I've gotten so invested in youth group, and church, and have been telling others that it's important over homework, and jobs, and money... so, how would that look if I were to drop youth group, even one of the nights, or most Sundays and worked. What would that say to the youth then? Or the youth leaders? Or my faith and (what little I have) trust in God if I backed out now?
Also, if I was going to be a cause of such stress for my boss and co-workers, then it would be best if I moved on.

If there is ANYTHING I've learned being a Christian, it's that following God will not make sense most of the time, and doing what is right will not always involve good feelings and glad tidings. There will be times when one has to struggle, fight, even suffer (emotionally, mentally, physically, whichever) as they trust themselves with God and how they live their lives in honour and glory to Him. However, it is worth it to the every end as we read Biblical accounts, martyrs, and and hear from the lives of missionaries, Saints, pastors and preachers; that in their struggles, turmoil, and even death, we see God glorified because of their faith in Him. 

I know... I know in my very soul that I long to be part of, if not immersed, in ministry. I want to see youth and people grow in their faith and love for God and be transformed by His mercy and grace, and to share that with the rest of humanity like we are called to. I cannot function in any sort of "work place" because ministry and work often conflict in my mind and when I see my co-workers hurt emotionally, physically, even spiritually, there is only so much I can say or do because my intentions are rooted in God and the Scripture and they don't understand that because they are not Christian. How I long for the day when God will soften their hearts to hear the Gospel and know they are created for a greater purpose, there is hope in Jesus, and God's love is real. 

So for now, the work schedule reads that I have hours to work next week (starting tomorrow afternoon), and they do not conflict with youth group or church. I pray that God in His mercy and patience will continue to lead and guide me on the path that has this Islander girl out on the Prairies.
That God's perfect love will cast out the fear that constantly haunts me as I work with and interact with people. That I do not return to being the Fearful Pharisee I have been for so long and God will soften my heart to Him and train me to use the Spiritual Armour (Ephesians 6) He has provided.

To God, though Jesus Christ we find love and redemption, be the glory forever and ever. 

~Amen.

Keeping it understandable and genuine

Two thoughts coming out of this week during youth group - How to keep talks understandable (while keeping in line with the Truth), as well as genuine; and being genuine to youth (while not overdoing it).

I gave a talk to the Jr. Youth on Wednesday from 1 John 2. I have to say, doing the research and learning about certain things in 1 John 2 was enjoyable and a little thrilling. However, I am a much better conveyer of my findings through writing (like this) as opposed to saying it out loud.
Also, I'm used to studying Scripture with an academic standard, so that means being grammatically correct, theologically sound, and actually knowing what it is you're talking about.

So, I gave a talk from 1 John 2, looking at what light represents, and how we as Christians are to live in that light. As I was talking, I looked around the room occasionally and noted that some, if not most, of the youth seemed disengaged or bored.  Thinking back over the talk I realized that I would sometimes use words that they may not have understood, like 'righteousness' and 'epistle'....

Guys, I called 1 John an epistle to an audience mostly made up of kids in grade 6... as IF they would know what that means without having to explain it!

*Seriously, get it together Holmes*

HOWEVER, I heard later from the Youth Pastor that a lot of the youth were engaged with the talk, even though they didn't know what some of the words meant... which was encouraging to say the least. ALTHOUGH NOW, I have a mission and a task to make sure my talks ARE understandable whilst keeping in mind that genuine enthusiasm for these talks are needed. I think that the enthusiasm I had for the research did come through to the youth and that is why they liked the talk... even if I said "righteousness" and "epistle" and didn't explain it.

Other than the ONE CLASS I took at Briercrest called 'Preaching and Teaching to Youth,' you aren't trained for giving talks to younger audience. Since my mindset is still in 'academic student writing' mode, the words "righteousness" and "epistle" are to me words that need to be used, but not explained. 

ANYWAY

On Friday we had our first night as a Sr. Youth group at the church. At first our YP was not expecting many youth to show up, because other things were happening that evening, but as it turned out between 15-20 youth showed up. 

There was one thing that really stood out that night though, not the number of the youth, but one girl in particular. 

She came with her bother, and as soon as she walked into the room, I knew she felt uncomfortable. Her arms were slightly crossed while she twiddled her fingers, and she was often looking down or away from gazes, and she stayed near the door to the youth room. 

I went to her and introduced myself and did my best to make some lighthearted talk but she still seemed shy and nervous. I didn't know how to continue the conversation so I made my way back to the YP and began the evening with a welcome and mixer. 

We did the 'Music Mixer' (found in Ken Moser's book: Creative Christian Ideas for Youth Groups) and noted that the 'shy girl' would keep to the outside of the groups when they came together. Even in small groups, she was with me, and two other girls, and she still would not open up, and mostly kept looking away.

Posture of nervousness and concern.

BY THE WAY - this really is normal for some youth who are in a new environment and just getting aquatinted with the group. Being an introvert myself, I wasn't expecting this girl to open her heart up to us on the first night, but I could't help but feel responsible to make sure she knew that this place was welcoming and safe for her to be in. 

For the last part of youth group - we played a game where you had to rotate to another game every 10 min and pick up where your teammate left off. 

Except when we were getting started, the shy girl was no where to be seen. I found her in the bathroom standing casually by the mirror. I asked if she wanted to play the game and she said no. I said that it was fine and she and I could watch instead. 

As we sat on one of the couches in the youth room, I asked her if she wasn't a fan of board games and she said, "No, I don't like playing games in teams, because if I lose I could let them down."

My reaction:

Whoa. 

I told her that hopefully as the year goes on she would see that most of the youth don't really care about winning, and the ones I know are rather chill about it.

I asked her if she was an introvert, and she told me all about how she's really into psychology and she knows her MBTI personality.

My reaction:

Eeeeehhhhh!!

We got into talking more about personality psych, family, and even her ideas for career choices after high school. 

THIS IS HOW WE INTROVERTS DO! One on one meaningful talks in a comfortable environment. 

Once youth group wrapped up, she thanked me for talking with her. 

This is what I mean about genuine, taking an interest in the lives of each person. It just so happened that this girl and I had the same interest in psychology and so we were able to have a meaningful conversation that flowed naturally. Even if I'm talking to a youth where their interests and mine don't line up, I can still talk with them because their interests are actually interesting - its part of who they are and when they open up about them, parts of who they are (character and emotion) are brought out and it's exciting to experience that with them.

It's not about studying youth culture to 'know ahead of time' how to talk with youth and get accepted by them. 

It's about getting to know the person's interests, stories, personality, strengths, and weaknesses, and knowing that all this is wrapped up in one individual, who has been placed in this time period for a specific reason by God; which is AMAZING. 

That's my rant for the day. Hope it was insightful and encouraging for you dear reader. 

Till the next time!

~To God be the Glory 

Wrestling with pain, fear, femininity, and masculinity

After this past weekend out at Kedleston, and listening to the talks Ken gave, I've found myself visiting some past problems with my personality.

The talks Ken gave about 'Pain' and 'Fear' really hit home.

In my blog about 'Youth ministry and personality' I talked about how I'm an Introvert (according to the MBTI I'm an ISFJ [Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging] / INFJ [Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging]) and HSP (highly sensitive person) - I think a lot of my insecurities have somewhat to do with my personality.
When Ken talked about 'pain' he mentioned people who physically have to hurt themselves in order to deal with the emotional pain. Even though I have never brought a knife to my skin, or punched a tree till my knuckles broke and bled... I have visualized and contemplated it. And I've punched a wall or thrown things at the wall (nothing that could break) when I've been alone.

When it comes to my own pain, or feeling the pain of someone else who I am interacting with - sometimes the emotional and mental turmoil is too much and you physically need it to be relseased in some way, shape, or form. This is how some people come to physically harm themselves.

When Ken talked about how guys would get violent and girls would cry when it came to pain, I chuckled because I find I do both (and depending on the situation crying and getting violent can happen at the same time).

- As a side note to make this blog less personal rantie and a little more educational: In Leonard Sax's book 'Girls on the Edge,' he talked about feminine and masculine qualities. After three decades of gender studies, he says, "Any individual may be very feminine; or very masculine; or both feminine and masculine, androgynous; or neither feminine nor masculine, undifferentiated. It's a two-dimensional both/and. Masculine and feminine are not exclusive" (pg. 186). 
"...masculine and feminine are not opposites at all, they are simply different, complementary, nonexclusive ways of being human" (pg. 187)
"Bly and Woodman believe that one aspect of a fully-developed sense of self has to do with how you work out within yourself the balance of your inner masculine and your inner feminine" (pg. 188). - 

Get this book ^,

and one called "Boys Adrift,"

also, "Why Gender Matters." 

BACK TO MAIN STORY RANTIE TIME:
The sad thing is, most of the time when I get sad or upset, I cannot hit a wall or punch a tree because that could cause a scene so I don't do it if there are people around; and I try not to cry unless I can escape somewhere by myself so that I'm not ashamed to express my sadness or frustration.

As for fear, well, it's no secret that one of my fears heavily lies in the future, and failure. But I've found there's something more to my fear than I knew before.
I contemplated what it was that I feared the most, and I thought about pain.
I had this scene play in my head where I was defending someone (with a sword and shield) and I got hurt in the process - that didn't bother me. However, the idea of the person who got hurt because I failed to protect them did bother me, and in that scene I was scorned by others because of it.

It came to me that the thing I fear the most is myself. That I'm not good enough, not worthy enough, not strong enough, not knowledgeable enough, to meet the expectations of others (that I think they have of me without actually knowing for sure) and myself.

Sometimes, I look in the mirror and I find myself looking at someone I hardly know staring back at me. What I'm saying is my physical form is unfamiliar with me. This could be equated to me not caring about appearances or concern for my physical form, but this also could be a symptom of anxiety.

Another thing is, I'm a cryer. I can cry just by thinking about something sad if I put my imagination and senses into it. It's always been a thing for me... except, even to this day, I hate it when I cry.

It does't matter what I read about the benefits of crying, or the fact I'm female so it's more accepted. The thing is, I believe people think crying to be a source of weakness, manipulation, or burdening. Even on the retreat, when I cried I did my best to turn my face away and wipe the tears off because "I'm a youth leader, I can't have people or my youth see me like this." I know people are often uncomfortable around those who cry and do not know how to act when it happens. That's why I do not like to cry in front of people, because I do not like to think I'm the cause of their discomfort because of my own emotions.

I long for a time when I can cry around someone, or people in general, and know that they will simply let me cry or at the least do this:

If you hug me, I can cry in your shoulder and hide the fact I'm crying...

I know the verse, "Jesus wept" (John 11:35), it has often been my go to verse knowing that God Himself has cried when He felt stress and was in pain, along with  Psalm 6 where the psalmist describes himself flooding his bed with weeping and drenching his couch with tears. However, it's still the case that I find shame when I cry even though it should be accepted and encouraged when necessary.

Looking back on the part where I added Leonard Sax's observations on what it is to be female and male, I can see that I have both "qualities" as to how girls and guys react to pain. Perhaps I am in need of coming to terms either with how God made me and/or syphoning through with Him what emotional/physical responses would bring Him honour and glory when pain happens. Maybe if I came to terms with how God made me, maybe I could look in the mirror and not be so unfamiliar with my physical form, and I can be at peace with it. 

~To God be the glory

An actual delight - Youth retreat/camp

Kedleston Gospel Camp 

Well, where to begin...

I'd have to say this retreat was MUCH different compared to the one we went on to Cypress. If you read my 'Dark on me' blog posts you'll know what I mean - this retreat, even though it also had a camp feel to it, the atmosphere was compliant by the youth and less hostile and overwhelming. All of the youth were from one of three youth groups at this retreat... so maybe it had to do with familiar church functions the youth were used to, or perhaps there was less hostility amongst the youth, or maybe because I didn't find myself thrusted in so many leadership roles that I could breathe and relax a bit - could also be all of the above. 

On Friday we had registration, dinner, announcements, a service, and a night game. 

The day before we had 23 people registered, on the day of registration, 49 youth showed up. 

Apparently some of the Kedleston staff were paying for around that number of youth to come... well, their prayer was answered and we almost didn't have enough staff for all of them, but we managed to make it through the weekend without much difficulty. 

Our speaker for the weekend was non other than the Ken Moser. For the first night, he spoke on John 10:10, of Jesus coming so that we can have life to the full, and opened with a story form his past that he related to coming to know Jesus and following him. 

When we sang songs of worship after the service, I remember standing and stopping to hear the youth sing. They sang louder than the worship band and what I believe to be with sincerity... because I started to tear up, and it would not be the last time I would cry that weekend. 

During the night game, the northern lights were moving dimly across the sky and for some of the youth, it was their first time seeing them. 

On Saturday, we had our full day of breakfast, 1st service, prayer stations, lunch, skill 1, skill 2, free time, dinner, game, 2nd service, and bonfire with snack (and night game was scheduled but things changed) 

So, I didn't really get any sleep friday night... like maybe 2 hours at most for the night. So, I was up early and taking some pictures of the sunrise on the lake. 

I don't regret being up that early... But the lack of sleep I do. 

Around 8am, we had a staff meeting before breakfast and I asked our Youth Pastor if he would forgo the game if we all were to tired by then. He said it would be considered but at the time it seemed like they would do it anyways. 

I got to have breakfast with Ken at my table with the girls whom I was cabin leading, and he (knowing I am an introvert) was seeing if I was doing okay and thinking of ways an introvert could function well in a camp setting. I suggested if I had another leader I could "tag out" with so that I knew my girls or skill teaching was looked after then I could go off and get some alone time, and Ken thought that an introvert having their own cabin would be ideal. 

After breakfast, we had a time of worship. And then Ken gave a talk.

Ken related the talk from the night before about 'having life' and things the youth (and all of us) ought to do if we in order to keep our faith alive and active. 

These were his main points:

1. Go to Church - Church isn't just for you, its also being a presence for your friends, family, other church goers so see and know you are there. 
2. Read your Bible - God has revealed Himself through Scripture because we are so forgetful and so by having it written down we can constantly remember Him and what He has done for us. 
3. Pray - Everyday we need to be saying, 'God I am yours,' because our hearts want to do selfish things and not God honouring and loving things. 

After the service, we did prayer stations for the youth to go through and read the sheets given to them and pray on their own through it. During that time, whilst over seeing one of the stations, I was inspired to prepare for the Jr. youth group talks I'll be giving for the next few weeks. It was a good and slightly exciting time of preparation for it. 1 John is SUCH a good epistle to talk about God's love, and how Christians ought to conduct themselves. 

After lunch I was supposed to be on the kneeboarding boat to do spotting... but something else happened. On of my girls got stung by something after putting her hand in her jacket pocket, right on her thumb knuckle. At first it was just her thumb that was swollen... but then she began to break out into hives and her breathing was a little off. The Camp director, my youth girl, and I sat in the office as we waited for a nurse to come and keep the girl calm. She was panicky and jittery and I was doing everything I could to keep from panicking myself. THANK THE LORD she had brought her own benadryl and had taken it not long after her hives broke out. When the nurse came she made sure to check that her breathing was good and the girl found that she was breathing easier and her hives were less bothersome. 

We all decided that she would take more medicine later and the nurse would make sure to see how she was doing physically. 

In all of this I ended up not doing any boat spotting and hung out outside our cabin where the youth girl was resting and played my guitar. even during the second skill she was out of bed and seeing if she could go on the boat at least for a ride. 

During free time, I got to swim in the lake... funny enough it was almost as cold as the ocean back at home... but no salt. 

Ken made an appearance during that time to do a little kayaking and also again made sure how my introvert levels were. Also, the girl who got stung around that time was tubing with her friends. 

After supper we played a game called 'prisoners base' which is similar to 'gold mine' (a game I played at Camp Homewood and youth group in BC), and that lasted us till the service. 

During this talk Ken spoke about the topic of pain and looked at Psalm 88 - which Martin Marty described it as "a wintery landscape of unrelieved bleakness." 

He asked the boys what do they tend to do when they are upset - to which a few said, "don't show it," or "get violent."

He asked the girls the same thing and the first thing one of the girls said was, "cry;" a few other things were suggested like "shopping," "eating," and Ken added that some tend to internalize it or they seek love and acceptance from the opposite sex. 

He concluded the talk by saying the Christian life is tough and sometimes painful (for some more that others) and we should not fall away from the faith when it happens, but in Scripture we see people (like Job) who are faithful and go through painful situations; but know that God still brings us life. 

We ended the night with a bonfire on the beach with hot dogs and s'mores and (thanks be to God and our youth pastor's mercy) we decided to not do the night game and get some sleep. 

Sunday, our final day, we had breakfast, Ken's final talk, lunch, cleanup/departure. 

For the final talk, Ken focused on what he found to be our youth's problem both in Vancouver and in Saskatchewan, and that is fear. In the Bible, one of the most REPEATED commands is to not be afraid, and the reason why is because humanity always is. Ken noted that in one of his chapels for guys, they all said they were afraid of "failure, females, and the future." 

-This is my own speculation is this point, but I believe that most of sins and sinful responses is derived from either pride or fear; which is why Christians stand out (or that is they should be standing out) because of their faith in Jesus and their love for God and the presence of the Holy Spirit in them. God is love, perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4), this is why we don't need to fear -

The opened door represented looking and seeing God's work
in the past.

What we need to do is look back on our lives in order to remind ourselves and see where God has been working and know that we do not be afraid because God is there, and He is with us in the present, and He knows and will be with us in the future. 

After lunch, and clean up, David, Ken and I left Kedleston for Moose Jaw and got there around 3:15pm.

When I got home. I slept. Seriously. That's all my body was capable of doing after that weekend of lack of sleep due to my own stupidity, emotional rides, and fun in the sun. 14 hours worth of sleep. 

Anyway, that's the shortened version of what went on that weekend. Hopefully I did some justice in remembering/narrowing down the main points in Ken's talk. 

Also shout out to Ken for making sure I was doing okay as an introvert! Really appreciated that and it meant a lot to know that you cared.

Now to prepare more of the talk for my youth group this week and be ready for my job and meeting with people! 

~To God be the glory 

Overjoyed

Hey all!

We had our first Jr. Youth Group kick off on Wednesday and it was SUCH a delight.

At first I was feeling apprehensive over some youth leaders falling out and wondering about how to work with the leaders we do have...

BUT all of that dissipated once the night started.

The Youth Pastor and I debriefed our leaders of the structure for the night and I prayed in closing out of Psalm 25 (go and read that Psalm, it's SO GOOD).

As the youth came for the gathering, familiar faces surfaced from earlier in the year along with some new ones.

Once 7:10pm rolled around we all gathered to the youth room and our YP (youth Pastor) lead us with a welcome (saying everyone needs to give out 3 fist bumps...

*Fist bump*

2 high fives, and 1 side hug or bro hug); and announcements after.

I followed up with leading a mixer called "find your match" (Creative Christian Ideas for Youth Groups, Ken Moser, 2008, pg. 21).

Basically, I would say "find some who... has similar eye colour, hair length, etc) and once they paired up I'd ask a question for them to answer amounts themselves like "How was your summer, what is your favourite animal and why, What are you looking forward to the most this year?"

After 4 rounds of that, I prayed for the night and for our youth pastor. Then the YP spoke out of 1 John, focusing on 1 John 1:5-7.

When he fished the talk, he split the youth off into their pods and assigned areas while he and I monitored the halls.

Around 8:15, the youth gathered back and we finished with a game which our YP made sure emphasize to our leaders before that it's not about winning but building relationships with the youth.

By 9:00, we finished the night back in the youth room and said our goodbyes and looking forward to next Wednesday.

We debriefed with our leaders once again and found most of them liked the small group/pod time the most.

I look forward to what the rest of this year God has in store for us as a youth group and for the lives of the individuals.

I know in one of my blogs I asked for prayer before, but I want to take the time to remind that we still need prayer for our leaders (the ones we have and the ones we still need), and for the YP and myself as we guide and facilitate the youth group for wisdom and humility when dealing with everyone. 

Thank you all who have been praying and I encourage you for continued prayer as you are a huge help to this ministry by your prayers alone. 

Stay tuned for updates about Jr. Youth and for the Fall retreat this weekend!

~To God be the Glory

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's go time!

I WILL NOW BE POSTING STUFF ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUTH GROUP!

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!

So, on Friday Hillcrest had our Sr. Youth kick-off meeting at our intern's house, with a bonfire, announcements, mixer, s'mores and games.

It was great to see familiar faces that were once in Jr. Youth, and new ones that would be coming to Sr. Youth regularly.
The evening was enjoyable and (dare I say it?) fun. 
The mixer I lead was "would you rather" where I would ask a question (like: would you rather be a dragon, or own a dragon - how would YOU answer this question?) and they would go to one side of the room or the other, and then they would have to answer another question in those groups (like: what was the highlight of your summer?).

Before the Mixer, our Youth Pastor announced that we would be regularly meeting at the church at the same time (7pm-9pm) by the 18th, cause next weekend we're going on a retreat to Kedleston Gospel Camp.

After the mixer, some of us played Apples to Apples

and others played Uno.

ps., the red cup only housed ice tea. 

the time together lasted till 9:20pm-ish, when a few of the youth's patents showed up and/or to drive them home or Joe's place.

THAT WAS SR. YOUTH KICK OFF.
TODAY, WAS YOUTH LEADERS TRAINING.

That was also enjoyable, also hard.

Despite the availability for cookies, brownies, loafs, coffee, and tea; it still did not soothe the fact we all had to go through the hour of P2P, or 'plan to protect.' -- FYI I am in no way discrediting or bashing the program 'plan to protect,' it's just the concept of cramming all these heavy topics, like physical, emotional, and sexual abuse into one INTENSE hour that gets to some of us -- However, we made it through and we ended the training time with David going over what the Sr. and Jr. youth groups look like program wise and our focuses on what we want to see happen in the youth group; and myself going through how to run a small group - or what our youth group is calling 'pods.'

Yes, this is what I think of too

I adapted Ken Moser's "How to Run Small Groups Without Study Questions" program sheet, and made it applicable to when you do and don't have study questions to work with, as well as the things to be aware of in girls groups verse guys groups. By the way, there are some free resources on the effective youth ministry website anyone can download/print when it comes to ANYTHING youth ministry related.

Well, that's all for now. Our Jr. Youth group kick-off will be happening Wednesday and the Fall Retreat to Kedleston will happen from Friday to Sunday!

Keep Hillcrest in your prayers and until till the next time, TTFN (tah tah for now!)

~To God be the glory

The Topic(s) of marriage and sex

Oh dear, where do I begin?

This topic is branching from my last blog post of a 'sexualized society.' Like I said in one of my summary points, marriage and sex go hand in hand, because sex outside of marriage is a perversion of what God intended both marriage and sex to be.

So, marriage and sex; time to break it down:

I can see that in both Christian and Non-Christian circles, marriage is desired.
At Briercrest, I could feel the tension and weight whenever someone dropped the word 'marriage' in conversation - either because someone is upset they're not in a relationship leading to that (or in one at all) or because it's like some high achievement the faint of heart cannot endure. While in the work place, guys will propose to me after eating some cookies I've made - so, it's taken lightly, YET my co-workers seem to talk about marriage just as much as Briercrest.

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

Here's the thing, marriage is desired by humanity. God created marriage when he created man and woman in the beginning to live in harmony with one another (see Genesis 1-2). Even now, in our sinful state and pain stricken world, marriage is still desired because of the unity of bringing two people together and become one AND symbolizing the relationship of God to His people.

Sadly because of our selfishness, marriage is (more often than not) misused as a source of human achievement and self satisfaction. That's why there are so many divorces, it's because they realize that the person they've promised themselves to isn't living up to their desires and vice versa and they break it off only to seek out the next person who will fill that God shaped hole inside them.

And Sex. Well, a lot of that was talked about in the last blog, but I'll focus on sex in relation to marriage from a two possible standpoints.

Here's a possible thought process for a non-Christian: Hmm, I've had sex in high school, a one night stand, and lived with my lover for a few years, and watch porn, but this STILL isn't enough... hmm, maybe I should get married... *cue Bruno Mars' song 'marry you'*  -- the FACT this song exists shows marriage as a thing to be desired BUT still misused --
Here's a possible thought process for a Christian (single or in a relationship): Hmm, I cannot view porn, masterbate, or have sex outside marriage; I should get married.

Wait, wat?

These are only possible thoughts for some people, but the way things are talked about and dealt with when it comes to marriage and sex, it seems like this is what people must be thinking.

That being said, fellow Christians, if you have the desire for sex, you should get married. I believe this is what the Apostle Paul was getting at in 1 Corinthians 7:9; HOWEVER, once you are together, it's 'till death do you part,' so love (Eph 5:25) and submit (Eph 5:21-24) to each other just as Christ has for the Church - for this is how marriage works.

And other fellow Christians who are not in romantic relationships, keep it up! There's nothing wrong with you. If you're in ministry/ doing ministry/ what God is calling you to do with discipleship in mind and romance isn't on the radar, you're doing fine. In 1 Corinthians 7:8, Paul writes "Now to the unmarried/widowers and the widows I say: it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do." Because of this, Paul was able to focus on the ministry to the Gentiles and build up the foundations of the NT Church.

Like I said in my last blog, I will go into celibacy, I just want to do more research and reading about it so please be patient.

Till the next time then!

~To God be the glory

The Topic of a sexualized society

Yeah... this is happening. 

Back in 2012, and artist by the name 'Marina and the Diamonds' addressed the topic in her song 'Sex, Yeah' about how girls are sexualized and the concept of sex is imbedded into our history and present time.

If you are not comfortable with the word "sex" being repeated in a song... better not listen to this out loud or at all. 

This is her song: Marina and the Diamonds - Sex, Yeah Lyrics

If you didn't, or don't want, take time to listen to the song; here are the lyrics I'm wanting to really focus on:

"Nothing is provocative, anymore even for kids
No room for imagining
Cause everyone's seen everything
Question what the T.V. tells you
Question what a Pop Star sells you
Question Mum and Question Dad
Question Good and Question Bad...

Tired image of a star
Acting naughtier than we really are

If History could set you free
(From who you were suppose to be)
If sex in a society
(Didn't tell a guy/girl who he/she should be)
'Cause all my life I've tried to fight what history has given me,
Me!"

I can see how being a parent this day and age is a terrifying concept if you're wanting to raise your child well and not wanting them to stumble upon a Nicki Minaj music video by accident.... You can put in ALL the safety measures in your house via pass codes, parent protection on the internet, hiding the remotes when not in the room... or just not having a computer, cell, iPad, T.V. at all and live in to boonies.... but as soon as you hit the grocery store, or walk into a mall, or listen to the radio, BAM. It's there: gorgeous women on magazines and posters who could be 15 or 25, and men who are all rocking the 'gods of greek mythology' look, plus that song "Bang Bang" is playing over the mall radio...

"Bang Bang into the room..."

SO - What are we to do as Christians living in a sexualized society?

Well, realistically; we cannot shut ourselves out from the world; and to say society is worse than it was in Israel's history would be kidding ourselves - people in the OT and NT had their fair share of problems with sex and sexualized societies (see any accounts of adultery in the OT, and sexual immorality in the NT - doing a word search alone in Biblegateway.com will give a good enough idea).

What we CAN/SHOULD do is address that we are living in a time when porn is only a click away, and explain why it is important as Christians to not indulge in viewing, or partaking in, sexual activity.

FIRST OFF: Christians know that sex is a gift form God, that should be a given; but OBVIOUSLY He has perimeters set because - you know... since He created it - He knows when and how it ought to be treated. This goes beyond merely saying, "Do not do sex till marriage because blah blah blah, reasons blah blah blah scripture that I don't fully understand blah blah blah"
SCIENCE! SCIENCE! OH GOSH, SCIENCE HERE IS SO AWESOME LEMME TELL YOU:
In Marv Penner's book Help! My Kids Are Hurting, he addresses the topic of porn and what makes it so desirable. Penner states that porn is "physiologically active," meaning, when viewing it, the person's body releases a hormone that locks memories into the brain and in this "response to pleasure, chemicals called 'opidids' are released by the nerve endings, reinforced the body's desire to repeat the process" (135).

PEOPLE - THIS is why sex within marriage is SOOOOOO important.

Just think, what if you didn't see that half naked women time after time in magazines, or the internet, and on your wedding night you see: Her, your wife, your beloved.
AND women, think about not indulging in those sexualized and romanticized novels and movies and instead being pledged to a man who on your wedding day says "till death do us part" - ALL THIS umbrellaed under the understanding and respect that God, our Heavenly Father, DESIGNED THIS.

Sex outside marriage is only the twisted and perverse version of the true and blessed gift that God made will wonderful intent for humans to experience.

GRANTED, I have never been in a romantic relationship with the opposite gender, and honestly think it may never happen; however, that does not mean that these perimeters go over my head... even those who never end up getting married cannot go about fulfilling sexual desires outside marriage.

Thus these are my points:

1. Sexualized society is evident, it needs to be addressed with digression to our youth who are impressionable and in need of guidance 
2. Scripture helps, science helps, healthy relationships help 
3. God created sex and marriage and they go hand in hand for a reason 
4. let's talk about this 

~To God be the Glory